But I Like the Pretty Things!

I have the ability to be a realist, but none of the desire.

It’s funny how the one friend who is usually the hardest to get a hold of was the one to sit on the phone with me at 1 a.m. and make me laugh and talk until I had calmed down and didn’t feel like I was going to curl up in a ball and die anymore.  I appreciate that more than words can say.  It really helped to feel like I wasn’t being ignored or abandoned or all alone, that someone I care about cared enough to be there for me in a moment of emotional instability.  Now to try and get some sleep.

Other friend and I are going to have some words tomorrow.  If I can work up the balls to actually say something.

Posted on 7 August, 2014

As of 10 minutes ago, you were active on Facebook. You are an asshole.

Posted on 7 August, 2014

So my life isn’t terrible, and I have a job I enjoy, and I have no relationship drama because I have no boyfriend, but sometimes I would like it if someone stopped to ask how I am, if someone would just say, “You’re there for me whenever I need you; let me return the favor.” Not everyday, not all of the time; just every so often, shouldn’t someone think of me?

Posted on 7 August, 2014

When is it my turn for someone to give a damn about me?

Posted on 7 August, 2014

I can’t stop crying.

Posted on 7 August, 2014

I don’t do emotional vulnerability, so the fact that I’m reaching out should mean something to one of the most important people in my life.

Posted on 7 August, 2014

Have you ever been really sad for no explicable reason and you need to talk to someone about nothing and your best friend doesn’t answer your calls or messages, and this is monumentally frustrating because you gladly listen to the minutiae of their life constantly and never ask for anything in return and you know that they know that you’re trying to get ahold of them but apparently you aren’t as important as whatever it is they are doing, which is fine because you don’t really want to be a bother but also hurts because who cares about you?

Posted on 6 August, 2014

That moment when you realize Sheriff Stilinski paid Melissa McCall to dominate him on Franklin & Bash.

Tagged #teen wolf  #sheriff stilinski  #melissa mccall  

Posted on 23 May, 2014

Day 4

Cigarettes: 0

Food: Special K Breakfast Sandwich (Sausage, Egg, Cheese on whole wheat flatbread); Nature Valley Sweet & Salty Chocolate Pretzel Nut bar

Drink:Mixed OJ, spinach, chard, arugula, berries, cherries, peaches, banana, oats; water

Exercise: Stretches; walked whole neighborhood in 20 minutes.

Notes: Walked in the cold, now my sinuses hurt, including my inner ear; feel better in general, though.

Posted on 3 February, 2014

Song of the Day - February 3, 2014: Imaginary Friend - “Fire Escape”

Tagged #song of the day  #imaginary friend  #fire escape  

Posted on 3 February, 2014

Song of the Day - February 2, 2014: David Guetta ft. Usher - “Without You”

Tagged #song of the day  #david guetta  #usher  #without you  

Posted on 3 February, 2014

Day 3

Cigarettes: 0

Food: Golden Lentils with Madras Curry soup w/ Brown Basmati rice; slice of Creme Brulee cheesecake

Drink: Mixed Berry Veggie juice, orange juice, spinach, chard, berries, cherries, peaches


Notes: Feel grotty, not going to auditions.

Posted on 2 February, 2014

Day 2

Cigarettes: 9

Food: Fish Tacos, Sauteed Corn, Pasta Salad

Drink: 3 glasses of Riesling, Water


Notes: Had lunch with Susan, went to Kohry’s after; feel funky

Posted on 2 February, 2014

Day 1 (Holding Myself Accountable)

Cigarettes: 8 

Food: Golden Lentil with Madras Curry Soup with Brown Basmati Rice; Chili

Drink: Blended Naked Berry Veggie juice, orange juice, peaches, rhubarb, berries (black, rasp, straw), spinach, arugula, Swiss chard; Water


Notes: New cell phone plan, oil change and transmission fluid on car. Took a shower before work.

Posted on 31 January, 2014

Money can’t buy you…

Posted on 17 December, 2013

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